Nathan: "Is that a summer sausage I see over there in your pantry?"
Me: "Uh. Maybe."
N: "I thought you're not supposed to buy those. They have nitrates in them."
M: "Shh! It was on sale. And it's not for eating. Right now. It's emergency food. You know, so that when I don't have time to make something I can just--"
N: "Emergency food? So when nuclear winter descends on us, you can wave it around and say, 'It's okay! See? I have a summer sausage!'"