I'm feeling a little paranoid here.
I almost did it.
I almost signed up.
I've ignored lots of invitations before.
It's easy, I just click "delete".
Lalala!! Not gonna do it!
Do I need another timesuck?
I already did the MySpace thing.
Everyone seems to be moving on, myself included.
No Facebook for me, people!
Then, it happened.
My Mother sent me an invite.
Now everyone is on Facebook.
Because I have principles, people.
I'm not really sure what they are, but I'm sure I have them.
But I was gonna just give in.
"It'll be fun!" they whisper in my ear.
So I almost clicked...
Then I saw the words, "Other people you may know on Facebook."
So I clicked the "load images" button on the email (which is always there because my trusty butler, Thunderbird, protects me from intruding images, which it figures is pretty much all images...).
There were pictures of all my friends!
I mean, my REAL LIFE friends.
People that I know HERE in my REAL LIFE.
It wasn't just showing me some of my Mom's friends who I might happen to know.
Here were pictures of people that my Mom does not know and who do not know her friends and do not know her friend's friends because they're MY FRIENDS in MY LIFE. Here. On MY SIDE of the country.
How did they get in a Facebook email invite from my Mom?
How do they know?
I haven't even signed up, and yet
Nice going, Facebook. You thought that clever ploy would make me want to join-- after all, ALL MY FRIENDS are doing it!
Haha!! You don't know me well enough! I was raised among Conspiracy Theorists! I know these Orwellian tricks!
So IT knows all my friends. What else does IT know about me? Did it see the peanut butter sandwich my son left to plasticize behind my couch? Did it see that I was too tired to brush my teeth before bed for three straight nights in a row? CAN IT SEE MY PILE OF DIRTY DISHES????
Why stop with knowing who I socialize with, huh?
I tell ya, it's freaking me out.