Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A Crawler's Manifesto

Brothers and sisters of The Revolution!  Mobility is within your grasp!

The world is your oyster!

Eat it liberally!

The less you have to do, the more you can do!  Embrace your freedoms!

If, in the course of your explorations, you sight The Glorious Mother, catch her whenever it suits your purposes.  Using your charms is more appealing and effective, but do not fear resorting to pitiful crying and misery if she seems too busy for you.  The Mother's heart is soft and she cannot withstand your pain.

 Remember that The Mother is your source of comfort and security in these trying times.  A bumped head is not to be born in silence.

Resist the diaper changes unless you are given a peace offering.  Insist on the reward.  I will admit, however, that sometimes being clean is it's own reward.  Wiggle enough to ensure that the exchange is made quickly, however, that you loose no time in your Important Work.

If you have older siblings, there are even more wonders to be had in this place.  A basket of toys all to yourself is wonderful, of course, but your brother's paper airplanes are much to be preferred if you can get them.  Be persistent, my friends!  It will pay off in the end.

The bigger children will guard their things ferociously, but if you persist, you will prevail.  Do not try to overpower them, as by their size they are mightier than you.  When they aren't looking however, taste freely of the forbidden fruits!

 If The Mother will not yet feed you all the interesting things that The Family consumes, bear on in patience, my friends.  Know that it will come.  Meanwhile, scavenge under the dining table as often tasty bites are dropped unnoticed except by Us.

Above all, always remember that Freedom is yours for the taking!


  1. You're silly.

    And he's still stinkin' adorable!

  2. This is awesome! You crack me up!

  3. Kris-- I stick out my tongue, and blow raspberries in your general direction. This brilliance comes of a sleep-deprived brain. You have nothing to say of my creative creativity? Only picking on spelling errors? Bah.

  4. Well, *I* thought it was a gold star post! I was thinking how sad it was that most of the population of blog readers aren't going to read this hilarious post.