Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Bullet-Point Stream of Consciousness

~ It just keeps raining.  Raining and raining.  The radar shows it just swirling above us, round and round, same rain over and over.

~ I admit it's getting me down.  Too much of a good thing is... depressing, actually.

~ Also, my rugs won't dry.

~ Really, what was I thinking?  Washing rugs and hanging them out?  Like, two weeks ago?  Sometimes they get almost dry, then soaked again.  I can't ever remember to bring them in damp before it rains again.  The rest of the time, they just get wetter.

~ Two of them are supposed to go in the guest bedroom.  My Mom arrives tomorrow, but sorry, Mom, no clean, dry rugs for you. At least not now.

~ Another one is a big, round white rug, very heavy to wash, and it's been out on the patio table on the deck, getting almost dry and wet again for, um, quite a while now.  It's starting to drive me nuts.  It no longer looks clean.  I would really like it back on my bedroom floor someday...

~ My body sure has a sense of timing.  Right after Evan was born, I got a horrible UTI that went on for weeks and weeks.  Now, right before giving birth again, I had a large filling come out of one of my teeth.  It's a wisdom tooth, but no way in heck am I having it pulled right now.  (I'm terrified of that even in the best of times.  Which is why I've had them filled instead of pulled.)

~ But the thing hurts.  Not really bad most of the time-- only if I get food or cold water on that side of my mouth.  Then it makes me want to say unkind things until I can get it rinsed with warm water.

~ I had to beg the dentist's office for an appointment to get it fixed a.s.a.p. and frankly, they don't really want anything to do with me right now.

~  But I won, and have an appointment tomorrow.

~ I'm praying it'll be an easy fix.

~ I have a lot of trouble with anxiety --have had it since childhood-- and the Birth Anxiety has been about all I can take lately.   But now add Dentist Anxiety to the list and I'm  kinda past my limit here.

~ I feel about as big as an elephant right now, and not nearly as graceful.

~ But really, when I look, really look at that space where there is a little human all wadded up inside, I find it astonishing that a little 8ish pound person is all wadded up in there.

~ I shouldn't be surprised at the little butt poking out near my navel and the feet wedged under my ribs all the time and the big lumps of limb that go rolling by from time to time.    It's tight in there!

~ The wriggling gets more persistent and uncomfortable.  I always wonder if babies fuss on the inside, or if they just learn that real quick once they get outside.

~ What could they possibly have to fuss about?  It doesn't seem like there should be anything, but do they really get so good at it right away after birth?

~ (And I mean good.  My babies are good at fussing.)

~ Maybe they get a little irritable with the cramped quarters.  The little person-wad might be happier with some room to stretch, thankyouverymuch.

~ So, come on out, kid.  All the space you could want, plus warm snuggles and lots of milk.

~ But please... go easy on me, okay?

1 comment:

  1. Oh Rosie-Kate! Hang in there friend. And please, if you could be so kind, roll that rain up into a big ball and toss it our way, ok?