That following is a truthful account of what happens when you try to photograph a contrary three-year-old in his Christmas suit.
Names have been changed to protect the identities of the victims.
Okay, stand up and look at me! Let's take some pictures of you in your nice new suit!
Now stand up!
Now look! Smile! Quit wiggling!
Stand still! Smiiiiile! Cheese! C'mon...
Quit. Wiggling. Stand still! Let's take some pictures! I bet Grandma and Grandpa and Oma and Opa would like to seeeeeee you! Look how handsome you are!
Oh! Very nice smile! Now stand still! Cheeeese!
Hey, that was very good! One more!
Will you stand still?
Great smile! Now stand still!
Oh, what a handsome boy! Say "Merry Christmas!" STAND STILL!
Smile nice! What's that on your vest?
Yeah, who is that? Smile!
Put your arms down and stand nice! Fold your hands.... smile... STOP WIGGLING!
Great. Good enough.
End of session.
Try not to step in the brain matter and bloody goo on your way out.