Monday, May 10, 2010

On "Knowing"

I get asked all the time.

Usually by complete strangers, or new acquaintances, or people I don't know well at all.

They all want to know, and seem to act as though I should.

Do I know whether my baby is a boy or a girl?

It's sometimes very hard for me to swallow my snarky replies. In fact, sometimes I don't (but I usually try to be polite...).

"Do you know what you're having?"
Me: "Yep! Pretty sure it's a baby!"


"Is it a boy or a girl?"
Me: "One of those!"


"So... what is it?"
Me: "It ain't a puppy!"

I understand that most people do find out at an ultrasound (at least, it seems like "most people" to me). And I'm certainly not judging those who do-- if you want to, fine! Do it! I've never had the opportunity, so I've never even considered the possibility.

But I'm glad of that, because I really do love the surprise. Sometimes I feel like I'm just dying to know-- but I'll find out soon enough and when I do it will be so much fun! When Jonah was born, I absolutely loved the moment that I "caught" him myself and held him and it seemed like several minutes went by before I even checked! No one announced it for me-- I got to find out for myself. It was fantastic.

I don't ever want to spoil that moment.

I understand if others want to know ahead of time. But somehow, I still find it surprising that it's that commonplace to "find out" and that it even seems to be expected! I guess it just doesn't seem to me that I should know yet. It seems... unnatural. And I like natural. I'm all crunchy and granola and stuff, you know.

Yes, I will admit that I also find the question just slightly invasive. Why is that the first thing that a complete stranger asks me? But then, I have personal space issues anyway. I'm also not a big fan of random hands on my belly, but I guess I just have to grin and bear it.

I guess I just have to keep telling people that I am relishing the anticipation.


  1. Would you believe that pretty much everyone I tell that you are having a baby, asks me "does she know what it is?" Really! They ask the Grandma too! It always takes me by surprise too. The only time I had an ultrasound was with Seth. After two boys I liked having the warning that we were having another one.

  2. when I was pregnant, I got the why I wanted to know before hand???...or.....didn't I want the surprise?
    I don't like surprises..;(

  3. surprise is good. Are you really going to catch your own kid? GAH! Tell me you will at least have a midwife. Your an amazing young woman. Personally i am hoping for a pink one just to mix it up. Hopefully this is not your last baby since you are natural woman.
    You know i think that old FB has bitten off a hunk of your bloggy time girl.
    I am older than you I can talk like that. And I am far enuf away not get a snarky remark. SNARKY I just love that! I gotta new word.

  4. Well, I really don't like surprises, either (don't care for surprise dates or parties and such). I like to plan. But I don't figure that the boy/girl thing is such a big deal because I already know I'm having a baby and I know it's one or the other. After he/she comes out, all I have to do is get out girl clothes or boy clothes. It's not like I have a nursery to paint...

  5. Karen Deborah-- Of course I do have a midwife! I have a wonderful midwife who lets me reach down to catch my own baby and find out the gender for myself!

    Also, I don't spend much time on FB, either. I think it's the garden and life and sleep-deprivation that have bitten a chunk out of my bloggy time. :-)