Relational Difficulties

Jonah: "Mom, can I go with you tomorrow?"

Me: "Um. Where am I going?"

J: "To your parents' to see the animals!"

M: "Uh... no, I'm not going to my parents'. It's too far away. Besides, I would take you with me if I were going. Say... Who are my parents, anyway?"

J: "You know! Those... uh.. girls! Who live down the road."

M: "Really. No, my parents are Grandma and Grandpa. Daddy's parents are Oma and Opa. Your parents are me and Daddy."

J: "No! My Grandpa is my Grandpa!"

M: "Yeah, and he's my Dad! How do you think he got to be your Grandpa?"

J: Long pause. "No, you and Daddy are not my parents!"

M: "Oh yeah? Who is then?"

J: "My friends! My friends are my parents."

M: "Well. And how old are your friends?"

J: "Um... five and half!"

M: "This conversation is not making sense anymore."

J: "Yeah. Cuz you're my Mommy. Not my parent."

Be Happy, America!

I just came across this article on Natural News about the top 10 reasons to be happy about the coming financial demise of the United States. Now, I usually take anything I read at that website with a grain (or ten) of salt since it leans pretty heavily toward New Age/godlessness and vegetarianism (which I do not believe to be a truly healthy and balanced diet). But this article has to be the best take on the economy that I've ever read. Not sure if it's really reasonable, but it sure is a fun and positive thought!

For example, I really like #4:

Good News Item #4) When the U.S. government goes bankrupt, so will the FDA! And that means an end to the tyranny and oppression against the natural health industry. Remember this: U.S. government employees are but one paycheck away from disloyalty. There's a whole universe of knowledge about natural remedies just bursting to emerge once the heavy hand of oppression is lifted.

As well as #6:

Good News Item #6) The financial demise of the U.S. government will bring down Big Pharma, too, resulting in a new age of natural health remedies becoming more readily available across North America. Why is this the case? Because Big Pharma relies primarily on government revenues to stay in business, and once Big Government goes broke, Big Pharma will have no easy way to extract revenues directly from the people. They only get away with it now because they can lobby Washington to steal taxpayers' dollars and transfer them to drug companies.

Now that's the way to look at it!

Six

Six good years, today.

Looking forward to many more.

God has blessed us...

...and made our life sweet...

...to share together.

This Made Me Laugh Today

A Letter to the NRA

Dear Sir (Charleton Heston?), or Madam, as the case may be, since unfortunatlyMr. Heston was not the person who called me repeatedly about joining your honorable foundation;

I've wanted to write for some time to thank you for the hard work you do in upholding our right to wear t-shirts. Or, wait... was it something else? Oh yes, firearms. It is a great thing you do-- protecting our Declaration of Independence from Evildoers by Our Right to Step Out on the Porch With a Shotgun. My husband and I are now discussing the purchase of a small handgun which we will keep in an accessible location and which I will actually know how to use more comfortably than the above-mentioned Shotgun. You know, in case I need to Step Out on the Porch.

It was really a picture of customer service the way your minions persistently called us every Monday and Tuesday morning, along with Wednesdays and Saturday evenings for three and a half months, willing only to speak to my husband. Let's face it, he has a busy schedule and, well, I don't get to talk to him every time I want to, either. Alright, I admit that there were times when I did not answer the phone --modern caller-ID technology is quite something you know-- but I can be a little hormonal sometimes. I'm so sorry it took so long, but your doggedness paid off handsomely when I called him in from his work outside -- I don't remember exactly what it was, perhaps he was chopping wood or pouring concrete or working on his rifle range or slaughtering the bear he had just shot, again with the above-mentioned Shotgun-- and he duly accepted your generous offer of a one-year membership at your relatively reasonable one-year membership rate. Because we are all for gun rights and we want to do our part.

Your telephone sales person took down all the information quite accurately as I spoke to her about the details of my husband's (I'm sure you'll remember him-- he's the one you called for repeatedly?) membership. Given the exactitude, you might imagine my surprise when the membership package arrived with my name on it, rather than that of my husband-- the one who actually owns the guns. Now when They come to take away our guns, they'll know just who to ask for. Oh and hey, thanks so much for the big, imitation bullet with Theodore Roosevelt's actual signature on it. I'll always treasure it.

But far more exemplary than your customer service, is your capacity for, well, other services. I mean, really, where would I be without NRA-provided life insurance? Or what about low-interest loans and credit cards direct from all you generous people who own guns, just like me? Your reps are really on top of getting the word out there about your services and paid advertisements. Why, I'm pretty sure I can look forward to getting something in the mail from you folks at least three times each week, and that's not counting your monthly magazine, which I do thoroughly enjoy, as soon as I can find the content nestled in all those ads for concealed-carry holsters and canned buck-scent. Also, I find it admirable how well you keep up on renewal notices. In the three or four months that I've had this membership, I've noticed that there is no way I could forget to renew with all the reminders that are so kindly sent my way.

Anyway, I won't take up any more of your precious time which I know is well-spent finding more ways to support the United States Postal Service. I just wanted to send a note of thanks for all your dedication and hard work. Thank you!

I remain always,
A responsible gun-owner.

Nominal

This morning I hit the "sleep" button at 5:15, only to have the alarm wake me up again 9 minutes later. So unfair.

I got up, dragged myself through my morning chores and routine, even though it wasn't really morning yet. The sun wasn't up, after all. It was drizzling rain and I hoped it wouldn't rain on us all day while we picked blueberries. There are two most common extremes for berry-picking-- burning sun or pouring rain. Usually, it's one or the other.

I drove to a friend's house to pick up her two 8 year old boys to help with the picking (since my dear friend just had a baby and is not yet up to berry picking) and then drove to another friend's house to pick her up.

I had spent a 45 minutes in the car already, and we weren't even at the berry farm yet! So we drove another 45 minutes. Thankfully, the rain stopped, though the bushes were still drenched, so we managed to get soaked well enough.

We picked for 3 1/2 hours and got 75 pounds of blueberries!



(That is not 75 pounds in that picture. It's just my 15-pound take... Wish I had taken a picture of all those berries together, though!)

After we were done picking and ate some lunch, we decided we hadn't spend nearly enough time in the car, so we drove yet another hour further north...



...to buy a goat!



After which I retraced my steps (tire rotations?) back home to get my new girl settled in.

Oh, and my van stinks.

Like goat pee.

Ew.


She's very sweet and friendly, gives a flood of milk (I know because it all ended up all over my milk stand when she started to dance and put a foot in the bucket!), and she's a little camera-shy.





She also doesn't have a name.

I mean, she does... the name on her papers... "Twiggy Shins Black Baby".

Ack.

Not sure I've ever heard a worse one...

I mean, ya might as well call her "Rumplestiltskin."

Seriously.

So I need to give her a real name. Some thing I can call her. Something sweet and feminine, because that's what she is.

Since my other girl is "Cappuccino", I thought maybe I should continue with the coffee theme. "Espresso" is the obvious choice. But that's doesn't exactly roll off the tongue now does it? Neither does "Starbucks". Nathan said, "Call her 'Dark Roast' and we'll call her 'Darky' for short." and I said, "Um... nah."

So then I thought, a cappuccino drink has milk in it, right? (Right?) So maybe the theme should be "milk" since that's what I have them for. Buuut... nothing comes to mind. She's black so maybe I should go with something chocolaty... "Cocoa?" But she's not really that color...

Or I could give her a name from the Columbia River Gorge, like "Rowena" or "Celilo"...

Or maybe I should just give her a froofy, feminine name like "Daphne" or "Fiona".

Or maybe I could hang it all and call her "That Black Goat".

Yeah, so I'm having trouble with this.




Okay, dear reader, this is your chance to weigh in with your favorite goat name! I'm counting on you to come up with some good ones!

London Bridge...

Don't worry! It's not falling down!

Really.


(Careful Dad, you're looking a little faint. Maybe you should sit down.)




Don't worry, Dad...




...it has jacks to hold it up.



And it hasn't moved. Not even a centimeter.

Pouring a footer tomorrow.

But for now, I'm walking on my tip-toes...