Rants About Boys

~I just chased a cat out of the house.  Immediately after that, I chased a chicken out of the house, right after she pooped on my floor and terrorized the kitchen and baby because she was terror-stricken herself.

~I informed the boys that there would be dire, -ehem, dire- consequences for all three of them Idon'tcarewholeftitopendagumit if I found that door open one more time.

~Why, oh, why does the house smell like an Amish barn?  Oh, that would be from the manure-covered boots that are tromping around my house.

~WEHAVEAMUDROOMFORAREASONGETTHOSEBOOTSOUTOFMYHOUSENOW

~I asked Jonah to fill the goats water bucket out in the yard, and when I returned to take it into the goats, I found it filled with water, yes, but also with rocks and a little toddler boy soaked to the skin.

~I also spent 45 minutes making that same toddler boy sit on the potty chair over and over and over again because I knew he had to go and he steadfastly refused to do it just because Mommy said so.  Don't try to tell me he doesn't have bladder control (he does!) or that "he might not be ready".  He has already fully proven his capability and control. When he decided he wants m&m's, he'll squeeze out a few drops every few minutes, but if he decides to hold out and make it a fight, he can sure hold it. 

~Negotiable? No, as a matter of fact, my rules --especially those regarding your safety-- are not open to negotiation.  Why do you keep asking?  I don't care if you don't agree.

~I said, NOT NEGOTIABLE.

~So stop asking.

~Why do they think they have to spend all day eating?  Every single one of them, from the 12 year old to the 9 month old, would like to just spend the entire day putting tasty things in his mouth.  End.less.ly.  

~And then, when he's done eating that, he'll ask for dessert.  Because surely we have dessert after every meal, right?  Oh, and lets have dessert after snacks, too.

~Maybe they've spent a little too much time with the Amish.

~And then there are the muddy boots.  Oh, did I already talk about this?  Hm.  Whoops.

~And how is it that we can clean up before bed at night, and as soon as we come down in the morning, the house resembles the Pit of Despair, don't even think about trying to escape?

~Shut the door, shut the door, shut the door, door, door!  Shut the door, shut the door, shut the door, door door....

~I don't want to be the No Mom or the Big Bad Sister, but sometimes I feel like this: