The Moment You've All Been Waiting For

Self-photography is hard.

Especially from a sideways angle.

But nevertheless, due to popular demand, I endeavored to persevere, and all that.

I clicked the camera no less than 49 times and still didn't get one I liked.

But I quit because I had to go to the chiropractor.

And my trigger-fanger was gittin' sore.



So without further ado:






Oops. Missed.






Missed again.

Hey, at least part of my belly made it into that one.





Here, Nathan came in and started making me laugh. (And I.... missed.)

Well, he mainly rolled his eyes. Then he suggested I wear something lighter for better exposure.

I told him that this was the cutest thing I have to wear.

He rolled his eyes again.

I told him to be glad I wasn't posing naked. He rolled his eyes even more.



Awwww... I give up.

This'll have to do.



(Yep, that's my cute lil' bump at 33 weeks. Aieee.)

On Maternity Clothing: A Rant. By me.

First of all, I'd like someone to explain to me why men's pants, jeans, drawers, britches and other lower articles of clothing are all sold in every permutation of waist/inseam measurements in inches, while women, whose bodies are surely more complex in variations, are stuck with basic sizes-- 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, etc. And then we it gets down to maternity clothes (where you would imagine that greater variation can occur) we get Small, Medium, Large. All of a sudden, my hips don't count any more because my belly overshadows them?

In fact, even men's dress shirts and suits and such are sold in chest/neck sizes, and women get... Small, Medium, Large.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find maternity clothes that fit decently? I can take any article of clothing in a medium, and it's almost guaranteed to be either baggy, or tight around my hips. Am I a plain ol' medium? No, I am my own version of medium, and in order to find a medium-sized article of clothing that actually fits me, I have to try on no less than 957 to find one or two that stay on and are comfortable. (Add to that the difficulty of finding something that fits AND is affordable... aiee. I can't see spending $30 on a pair of jeans that I'm gonna wear for a few months. I don't spend that on jeans anytime. So I have to go with second-hand and that? Even fewer options.)

And then there's the style. What is it with people who make maternity clothes? I get pregnant, so now my usual style counts for nothing? According to them, I have a baby belly, therefore I have to be relegated to either shlumpadinka or frumpy. Cutesy pastels and little ties around my midriff, flowers and polkadots and stripes, all arranged in such a ways as to scream, "FRUMP!". Make no mention of the high necklines that only make me look like a whale. And forget about stretch-- shirts are just made into tents.

Now I will admit that I'm not much into style. I'm really a t-shirt and jeans kinda gal. I'm pretty much home most of the time, so I don't need to really dress up, but I still like to look neat and decent. However, I'm also pretty picky about clothes. Perhaps this is an unfortunate shortcoming in my character, but there it is. I drove my Mom nuts when I was a kid. Someone would give us some handmedowns, or Mom would get me something, and I would more often than not be unable to wear it. Too tight here, too scratchy there... whatever. How many packages of socks my poor mother bought for me that went unused because the toe-seam bugged me? Sigh. I have a lot of rules. No high-necklines, no constricting armpits, no short shirts that accent my butt. No high-waists (oh, don't get me started on how much I despise those over-the-belly-panel maternity pants!), no extra-low-waists, no constricting hips, and give me a slight flare at the ankle, in just the right length, thanks. Also, no pink or pastels or flowers or busy patterns. I prefer a trim fit with a bit of stretch for comfort.

(Sheesh, maybe I'm the one with the problem here. No matter-- it's my body and my post, so I'll keep ranting.)

So when it comes to maternity clothes, my options narrow considerably. People have given me some things, but most of the time they don't fit (see "small, medium, large," above). I do have to say that I am VERY thankful for the current style of long shirts. I've been able to find quite a few non-maternity clothes, perhaps a size or two up, that I can wear because they're long enough to cover. I had thought I had several pairs of belly jeans, capris and shorts, only to find out that they don't fit (see "small, medium, large," above) when I go to try them on. So I currently have one well-fitting pair of jeans, one of capris, and thanks to a good friend, a few pairs of shorts (and it's getting hot here!). I have a small handful of shirts. So I'm pretty much going to wear the same few outfits, depending on weather, for the next 7 weeks (give or take a couple) until I can start all over again trying to find something to fit the post-baby flab.

Sigh.

Sack-cloth, anyone?



(P.S. I'll try to get up the guts to post a belly pic soon. Really.)

Greased Lightening

Jonah was demonstrating to me how he shoots lightening from his eyes.






Evidently, the sunglasses are to protect us from the harmful heat and radiation which emanates from his uncovered eyes.





Because as soon as he removes those glasses, watch out! Sparks and fire are let loose to the accompaniment of strange sound effects and flying spit.




Ever triumphant, the lightening-eyed boy!





Oh, and can I just mention?


Apologies for the blur, but this photo demonstrates it most--
he looks so. much. like. his Daddy. Some days the resemblance is heart-stopping for this smitten Mommy.

Two Things from Nature

These Two Things have nothing to do with each other, but I'm sharing them anyway, in one post, without much to say about them.

---

1.



Yesterday as I sat on the porch listening to the birds and enjoying the perfect sunny day, I pointed my camera up into the trees in attempt to capture the sun. It didn't work, of course, but I like to try.

---

2.

Around supper time, an Amish neighbor told us about a wild honeybee swarm just down the road in a honeysuckle bush. Jonah and I walked down to take a look. It was a very neat thing to see! The neighbor told us he would try to capture the swarm later and put them in a hive.

Poop Deck

Common Grackle

Also known as:

Crap Shooter
Awwww... gross!
Raffa-muffa-schnigga-frigga bird!
$#!& @$$ Bird
Heeeeere kitty, kitty, kitty!
Grr! I stepped in it again... and what's this on my shoulder...?!!
BB Gun Target Practice

Say Whaaaaa...?

I just came across a blog that is both hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

My OB Said WHAT?

It's a collection of misguided quotes from doctors and nurses to pregnant and postpartum mothers. Like this gem:

“There’s no proof that vaginal birth doesn’t cause some sort of brain injury! It compresses the baby’s head!” -OB to mother prenatally.

...or this:

“Well, we should go ahead and schedule you for a cesarean section. Baby is measuring a week ahead and going to be big.” -OB to mother at 26 week prenatal appointment.

Yeah. Whoa...

(Just for balance, they do post some kind and considerate quotes as well. I'm not saying OBs are all bad or anything... but ya gotta admit, there is an awful lot of misinformation being perpetuated out there!)

And I Was Wondering What Happened to My Other Brown Dress Sock

Honkeytonk Bah-donk-a-donk

I had a houseful of family this past weekend, which included a lot of kids. It was great! I love having people visit me, and living so far away from everyone, I don't often have family at my house. I love it.

I'll try to post some photos from that visit in another post later, but for now, I just had to share this.

After all the kids left, there were some toys left on the living room floor (not many, since it was thankfully very nice outside and they spent most of the time in the yard having a great time). As I sat on the couch I spied this, and it just made me laugh so hard.




I'm not even sure what to say about this photo, except to apologize and tell you that I just couldn't help myself. The studly knight's horse eying the bodacious carousel beauty's behind... It just cracks my bottom right up. (hee...) I generally try to keep it clean around here, folks, but this... this is irresistible.

Where Did This Little Beauty Come From?

I don't remember planting it, I've never seen it before. And yet, here it is, in my weedy, rangy, struggling, clay-heavy flower bed. It's entirely possible that I planted it, and then gave up on it when it struggled and didn't do anything, so I forgot about it. Nevertheless, here it is. A gorgeous dark purple columbine, peeking up right were I can see it through my front door. What a treat!

Nerdy: The Next Generation

Uncle Martin is Jonah's new favorite person. One first-born geek to another.

Sometimes I Forget...

...that work can be play.




I've never liked to have Jonah (or any small child) helping with the dishes. Of all things, that drives me nuts. I try to always give Jonah opportunity to help and I like for it to be fun for him so that he can be learning that work is not horrible drudgery. But the dishes? Dishes are for me. I have a system. It's a somewhat meditative job that I don't like to have broken by a sloshy mess and bumping elbows and stolen dishrags. I just want to get the job done.

I have a bad habit of missing the forest for the trees. What's more important in my day? My getting my work done, or my teaching my child how to work cheerfully?

Since we got a dishwasher, however, the dish load is not the only thing lightened. It's also made it far easier for me do dishes with Jonah. It's become a morning routine for us to unload and begin reloading the dishwasher together while listening to Alexander Scourby's Bible reading on tape.

When there are extra dishes that need washing, there are usually not very many, so I don't feel the pressure to "just get it done." I can wash the more difficult things and then let Jonah wash a few things while I work on something else nearby. That way we don't have to be doing the same thing at the same time, but I can still supervise and he gets to have a little fun in the dishwater. Yeah, the dishes don't necessarily get totally clean or rinsed, but it's more about the process than the result.



While having a 5 year-old do dishes can be a little aggravating, I have to admit that it would never occur to me to make the suds shoot out of a funnel like a volcano. I'm so much about "getting the job done" that I would have slopped that thing through the sink, rinsed it, and tossed it up to dry without even seeing the hilarious potential.

On "Knowing"

I get asked all the time.

Usually by complete strangers, or new acquaintances, or people I don't know well at all.

They all want to know, and seem to act as though I should.



Do I know whether my baby is a boy or a girl?



It's sometimes very hard for me to swallow my snarky replies. In fact, sometimes I don't (but I usually try to be polite...).

"Do you know what you're having?"
Me: "Yep! Pretty sure it's a baby!"

or

"Is it a boy or a girl?"
Me: "One of those!"

or

"So... what is it?"
Me: "It ain't a puppy!"



I understand that most people do find out at an ultrasound (at least, it seems like "most people" to me). And I'm certainly not judging those who do-- if you want to, fine! Do it! I've never had the opportunity, so I've never even considered the possibility.

But I'm glad of that, because I really do love the surprise. Sometimes I feel like I'm just dying to know-- but I'll find out soon enough and when I do it will be so much fun! When Jonah was born, I absolutely loved the moment that I "caught" him myself and held him and it seemed like several minutes went by before I even checked! No one announced it for me-- I got to find out for myself. It was fantastic.

I don't ever want to spoil that moment.

I understand if others want to know ahead of time. But somehow, I still find it surprising that it's that commonplace to "find out" and that it even seems to be expected! I guess it just doesn't seem to me that I should know yet. It seems... unnatural. And I like natural. I'm all crunchy and granola and stuff, you know.

Yes, I will admit that I also find the question just slightly invasive. Why is that the first thing that a complete stranger asks me? But then, I have personal space issues anyway. I'm also not a big fan of random hands on my belly, but I guess I just have to grin and bear it.

I guess I just have to keep telling people that I am relishing the anticipation.

And He Turned 5

My sweet little baby boy turned 5 yesterday.

What? He's not a baby anymore? Huh. I thought he was, just a couple days or so ago...

Anyway, he's 5.

And we had a party, of course. Birthday parties are fun. And... tiring. I'm really tired.

(Please excuse the poor photos in this post. Of all things, you'd think a birthday party would be an important event for decent photography, but action shots in low light are NOT my forte.)


As is fitting for a 5th birthday, enormous volumes of spaghetti were consumed by all.




Jonah had requested a solar system cake, and I gave it my best shot. It may not be perfectly neat (piping all that frosting made my well-built, goat-milking hand ache), but I think it was a pretty fun cake!





I made him name all the planets before they were eaten.




Jonah told his Oma and Opa on the phone "Hi! I'm five and I had a solar system! Okay, bye, I gotta go open presents!"




The other kids made Jonah a birthday crown and a beard, because, of course, he's old.

Heh. Clever, I thought.

Jonah had lots of help opening presents, of course.


But the best part is the help opening all those pesky anti-theft packages! I didn't have to touch a single one this time.





The aftermath this morning is intense, and I haven't even bothered to think about cleaning up yet. I will. As soon as I pry my butt off this couch.

One thing I'm grateful for is that I can go on light-entertainment duty since Jonah has lots to keep him occupied...



...like making the knights from Grandma duke it out on castle turrets.

Except I'm being required to answer a whole heap of knight questions.


Oh, and by the way, we did get the Lego plane finished. (Though, I generally avoid toys that involve me playing with them, I made an exception... just this once.)

Uh-oh...

We have Legos in our house.

Duck and cover. Crazy Momma ahead.



(Birthday pictures coming soon... if we ever get this Lego plane finished.)

Pre-birthday Oops

I just wanted to whip up a quick batch of cupcakes to take with us to Story Time at the library tomorrow. Thought it would be fun to share a treat for Jonah's birthday.




Um yeah. Let's just say I don't make cake very much. And I have a whole birthday cake to bake tomorrow...

Oh well. They're edible, right? Sort of.

Chocolate frosting covers a multitude of cake sins. Right, Mom?