Friday, August 17, 2012

Rants About Boys

~I just chased a cat out of the house.  Immediately after that, I chased a chicken out of the house, right after she pooped on my floor and terrorized the kitchen and baby because she was terror-stricken herself.

~I informed the boys that there would be dire, -ehem, dire- consequences for all three of them Idon'tcarewholeftitopendagumit if I found that door open one more time.

~Why, oh, why does the house smell like an Amish barn?  Oh, that would be from the manure-covered boots that are tromping around my house.

~WEHAVEAMUDROOMFORAREASONGETTHOSEBOOTSOUTOFMYHOUSENOW

~I asked Jonah to fill the goats water bucket out in the yard, and when I returned to take it into the goats, I found it filled with water, yes, but also with rocks and a little toddler boy soaked to the skin.

~I also spent 45 minutes making that same toddler boy sit on the potty chair over and over and over again because I knew he had to go and he steadfastly refused to do it just because Mommy said so.  Don't try to tell me he doesn't have bladder control (he does!) or that "he might not be ready".  He has already fully proven his capability and control. When he decided he wants m&m's, he'll squeeze out a few drops every few minutes, but if he decides to hold out and make it a fight, he can sure hold it. 

~Negotiable? No, as a matter of fact, my rules --especially those regarding your safety-- are not open to negotiation.  Why do you keep asking?  I don't care if you don't agree.

~I said, NOT NEGOTIABLE.

~So stop asking.

~Why do they think they have to spend all day eating?  Every single one of them, from the 12 year old to the 9 month old, would like to just spend the entire day putting tasty things in his mouth.  End.less.ly.  

~And then, when he's done eating that, he'll ask for dessert.  Because surely we have dessert after every meal, right?  Oh, and lets have dessert after snacks, too.

~Maybe they've spent a little too much time with the Amish.

~And then there are the muddy boots.  Oh, did I already talk about this?  Hm.  Whoops.

~And how is it that we can clean up before bed at night, and as soon as we come down in the morning, the house resembles the Pit of Despair, don't even think about trying to escape?

~Shut the door, shut the door, shut the door, door, door!  Shut the door, shut the door, shut the door, door door....

~I don't want to be the No Mom or the Big Bad Sister, but sometimes I feel like this:


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Not bothering to blog

Just a quick update to say to the internets that I am not dead, nor have I fallen into deep hole, crack, pit, abyss, fissure, chasm or other precipitous perforation.

My Mom was here for a week, which was wonderful, and during which time I obviously didn't bother to blog.  She left my youngest two brothers, ages 10 and 12,  here with me for the rest of the summer, which is also wonderful, and about which I have also not bothered to blog.  So now I have a little inspiration and photos on my camera for blogging, but my computer is out of commission, again.  The truth is that it has been limping a long time, but still quite usable, until one little brother inadvertently clicked something from someone he didn't know in his email and... well, we all know what happens then, don't we?  It's my own fault, really, for not issuing strenuous warnings of the dangers of email.  (Doesn't it seem like email should be quite safe, really?  Alas and alak.  It is not.)

So I am using Nathan's computer once in a while, but mostly I use my time more wisely (imagine that!) when I don't have the freedom to dink around my laptop.  Like reading a lot of Shakespeare for an online class I signed up for.  (What did I get myself into?)  And wait... I'm going to need my computer for that.  Shoot.  Sigh.

I've had a bad cold all week, which is not helping my household situation at all.  Peaches, beans, pickles, basil, cabbage and weeds... all will bury me if I don't get them taken care of, but I don't feeeeel like it.  It seems like I always get a bad cold (flu?) right at the beginning/middle of August, just as canning season is getting into full swing where I need to be doing something every day to keep up with it all.  And then, bam, sick on the couch for a week.  It's the only time all summer that I get sick.  What's up with that?

However!  I do have the rare treat of these minions servants slaves capable little brothers to boss around who help me a lot.  Peaches!  Cleaning!  Dishes!  Lawnmowing! Garden watering! Baby holding! They are eager and willing to help and I am amazed at how fast everything gets done with so many hands.  It's really fantastic.

So this week, I'm hoping to be on the mend and do some catching up.  But then... Nathan is going to be gone for four days and that means I will be "it".  ("You'll have your brothers to help!" Nathan said.  "I'll be by myself with five boys!" I said.)

For now, I'm off to get my busy little toddler to bed so I can spend the rest of the afternoon moaning on the couch doing laundry.  Perhaps I'll figure out a way to get some photos here, soon.